Welcome back to the podcast. I am recording this episode to all my introverts out there. So this episode is a guide that I have put together for all the hairstylists, anyone, I mean, in general, that is working with people and is slightly introverted, or you can also adapt this to if you are energy sensitive, this episode is really for you. And I think I have actually put this together a lot for myself as well, because, yes, I am highly introverted, I am super energy sensitive, and for the very, very longest time. So I've been working as a hair stylist for over 26 years. For maybe 10 of those years, I had no idea that there even was something called an introvert. I probably had no idea what energy sensitivity was, either maybe after five or six years, but before that, no because that was something that wasn't talked about, and it was something that I didn't know anything about.
So
when I was working as a hairstylist full time, I was working up to like, six days a week, long, long, long hours clients back to back to back. And I started out when I was young. So when Friday and Saturday came. Of course, I wanted to go clubbing. Of course, I wanted to go to bars and hang out with my friends and potential clients and etc, etc, because I met a lot of people through going out, meeting other people and also getting clients that way because of my own hair, etc. So when the weekend came, I was usually so emotionally drained. I was so tired that I was forcing myself with alcohol to actually have the energy to go out. And I had no idea why I felt so overwhelmed, emotionally sick, sick to my stomach. Felt bad, I like I had no idea of all of these things, I had no understanding of that. Maybe I was so drained, because I cannot cope with that many people. I cannot cope holding the space for that many people and then go out and be with loads of people. I actually thought that it was something wrong with me. I didn't understand that the other girls that were working in the salon actually got energy by being around people. If you don't know what an introvert is, an introvert is a person that gets tired of being around people. An introvert is someone that needs to have some alone time and works better being in small groups. And an introvert is someone that maybe takes a little bit longer to think through what they're going to say maybe they are a bit shy, but for me, I don't think introverts and shyness is the same thing, and I know that it is a trendy thing nowadays to say that you are introverted, But when I actually understood what an introvert was. It just blew my mind, because I was so happy to actually understand myself in a better way. I was so happy to firmly understand, oh, this is why I reacting like this. This is why I do this. This is why I do that, and what I have learned over the years is that if I'm working clients back to back for a full day, I let my husband know that, hey, it's going to be a long day. You can't expect me to be overly social today. You can't. Expect me to go out and meet people, and sometimes I actually need to be by myself. And if you are an introvert, if you haven't communicated yet with the people that you're working with, and also with your partner, about what it is that you need in order for you to have energy, in order for you to not become a whining bitch, in order for you to actually work as a human being. And I know we are brought up in a society where there is a lot of musts and things that we should do, things that we should think is joyful, how we should work together with people, how we should
etc, etc, etc.
There is a lot of things that society puts on, like in school, when you're in a big class, you have to go up there and read your paper. You have to do all of these things. I can say. I understand nowadays that when I was in first grade and we had to stand up in front of people reading out loud, I was so scared and I was so shy that I jumped every other word so it actually went faster, and that actually put me into like special class together with all the ADHD boys and me being shy in a corner and being an introductory and maybe what I needed was to read that paper out loud for the teacher, and not the full class. And the amazing thing is, if you are an introvert, you can actually learn to play the game as an extrovert, and you can become really good at it something I have learned, something that my husband has learned, but what you need to understand is, what is it that you need to fill up your energy, and what is the things that is a no and When is your limit? Because if you're working in the salon, taking care of your clients, meeting people all day long, you also need to have some way of recouping that energy if it is draining for you. And I hope that this podcast episode, if you can leave when we are finished with some notes of, okay, I'm going to test this, I'm going to test that. I'm going to see what is going to work for me. I would love to hear from you if you have any tips that we can share with others as well, and also, what will work for you, what does not work for you, and etc. Would love to hear from you. You can always send me a DM on Instagram at streamflow underscore, because I truly enjoy hearing what you guys think and all of your aha moments and so on. And also, if something is like Ann Marie, that's really bad advice. Let me know, because I can always do better. We always can do better. How you can survive as a hairstylist if you're introverted. So this is the guide that I'm going to guide you through. And when I started writing this outline, I ended up with more than I think that I should have written from the very beginning, but I'm going to go through it all because I think it's so important to go through all of these different steps so that you can pick and choose and see what is working for you. So what I have learned for myself is that having a morning routine that works for me is super important if I oversleep in the morning and I don't do the different steps. I don't do the same steps every single day. I bury them, but if I over sleep, if I rush things, then I am unbalanced. And if I'm unbalanced, then I have a harder time being around my clients in the salon, and that's just what I have learned. Is the thing that can be triggering for me, I cannot hold the space for my clients. I cannot do. La, if
I don't have time for myself in the morning.
So what could be a morning routine for you? This is something that you need to test and really see what works for you. For me, almost every day, I try to get some of my breath work and meditation practice in, because I find room in my life to not react to so much. I can be more in the present moment. I can feel what my clients need in a better way, and it also is easier for me to not be caught up
in
all the information society if I start my day with some meditation and breath work, journaling, then I feel like I am my true self. If I start today with just scrolling on social media, responding to messages, going this, here and there and there and running to work, then my brain is already scattered. So maybe you need some meditation, breath work, maybe you need to work out. Maybe you need to take a really long breakfast. Maybe you need to take a walk in the woods. Maybe you need to walk to work, whatever that is, think about when I did that thing, I had a great day. When I do this,
I feel better
when I do that, I'm less responsive. So think about what do you need in the morning in order for you to set up your day for success? And I know some people prepare things in the evening, depending on what type of person they are, maybe you need to lay out the clothes for the day in the evening. Maybe you need to prepare your breakfast in the evening. Whatever that is, start to think about, what can I do in the morning to set my day up for success so I have energy, so I don't be drained, so I don't come home and being a whining bitch to my partner, because that is who I become if I don't do things like this. The second thing in the survival guide for introverts is asking yourself, what is your opening routine for opening up the salon? I know that we're living in a digital age, but we're still providing a physical service that demands that you have to be present with your client, and this is something that I know there are people that have less of an understanding of so when it comes to my opening routine, I try to be in the salon minimum 30 minutes to an hour before I actually take clients. I have set up. I call it like my opening ritual. You can call it routine process, whatever it is. I like putting stuff into rituals. For me, it just involves some more magic. You can do whatever thing you want. I open up. I come to the salon, I clear out the energy that's there. I set my intention. I have a system of responding to emails going in on social, responding to all the comments there, responding to text messages, listening on the answer phone, etc, etc, etc. Note that I have a phone, a cell phone that is my work phone that I always leave in the salon. I never bring it home. If I bring it home with me, I actually have it shut off because I have trained my clients to know that I respond to things once in the morning and once in the evening, depending on how I'm working, I don't respond to things the days that I'm not in the salon. So I've trained them even if it takes one day or two days for me to respond. This is just for me to be able to provide an amazing experience for you, but I cannot be there 24/7, for you. And if you are caught up in overwhelm, if you're caught up in that, you feel that you are. Irritated clients that you feel that you're never left alone, etc, etc, etc, question how much you're working when you actually are not in this alone. It is okay that when you leave this alone, you don't have to respond to messages to your clients,
it is actually okay
to
leave work at work, and come home and be present with your family, with your friends, whatever it is that you enjoy doing when you're not working. There is this social acceptance that we have to be there for clients, 24/7, but you can set the rules, but we have to communicate. So I do this when I open up the salon and when I close the salon. So I have my opening ritual and my closing down ritual. If I would go in on social media for fun, I don't go in and check any message, because if you someone has seen that you have checked the message, and you don't respond straight away, they might have a fit, and they might think, Oh, she doesn't like me anymore. And then all health breaks loose. So I think it is important that we have that time where we can actually rest. We don't have to be available all the time. We don't have to be there for them, 24/7, and that is okay. And if you have clients that are being triggered by this, just let them know that this is my way of doing things now, so that I can actually have energy to help you out in the best possible way when I am providing this service for you. And the third step that I've written down is your schedule and actually adding breaks into the schedule, and this is something that I'm really, really bad at, because when I come to this alone, and you get me to start working,
I become a bit
like a machine,
and I have a really, really hard time actually leaving things and go out and take a break. When my dogs were alive, that was something that was amazing for me, because
every fourth hour
they wanted to go and pee, so I had to take them out for work. So I had scheduled times in my calendar where I have to take them for a walk, and if I was doing like a big color correction and hair extension work that would take the full day, I let my clients know, hey, you know, I have my dogs. I have to take them for a walk, and sometimes I even brought the clients with them if they wanted, because that also gives them a little bit more energy. It refreshes them. It just makes everything feel more light and easy. So this is something like putting breaks into your schedule
and knowing that, okay,
I can work this amount of hours, and then I need 30 minutes or an hour, or if it's two hours, depending on what you need, maybe you cannot have clients back to back. Maybe you need 15 minutes or a half an hour break between your client. Know what works for you and set like really stick to that schedule. Is it so that you actually need to have some alone time between clients? You cannot have the clients back to back. Then it is important, even if you you know you're scheduling in your 30 minutes break, or if it's a 15 minute break between clients, let your clients know that, hey, just so you're aware, I know that your your appointment is at one o'clock. Have a message going out like I want to remind you of your appointment tomorrow at one o'clock. Just to be aware, I won't let you in before your appointment, because I need the time to recuperate rest have my food snacks in between clients, and I need that alone time so that I can show up fully for your appointment and create an amazing hair for you if. You explain to people why you need that alone time and why they cannot come in early, and why maybe you you need to have them wait in the car until it is their appointment, or wait outside, or whatever it is, depending on your setup, communicate why? Because not everyone understands and not everyone remembers. But the thing is, what I did is I have an email going out to my clients. So 24 hours before the appointment, I have an email saying, like, Hey, I'm looking forward to see you, and I want to remind you of here are, like, my rules for the salon. Here are my boundaries. And I actually have a video that I have recorded, and I have every single new client watching that video about the rules
in my salon,
and why I have these when people get that message and then they actually start to have respect for you. I saw a shift because there are always that person that is late, or always that person that is early. And I've had people come like, two hours, three hours before their scheduled appointment, and you know in their mind, when they're three hours early, I should help them, but if I'm what people maybe don't understand is when I've been mixing my work, the salon work, and then Also my coaching work. But when they see I'm sitting
thinking
or seeing just me writing on the computer, or because when we are I I'm creating content like for the podcast or for my Instagram reels or my YouTube videos, or whatever it is, or when I'm helping my clients in a way, with coaching things, sometimes I need to put things into a system. Sometimes I need to put it into a process, and that demands some mental work for me and some people don't really understand that I need that room. I need to schedule in, otherwise it won't happen for me. That's just how I work. And I need to have that room to actually sit there. So if someone is hovering around the salon, and I'm actually just until recently, I had my office and salon in the same space, Windows from floor to ceiling, nowhere to hide. So if someone was early and I was sitting there working, sometimes I just ended up being I'll take care of that client instead and jumping over my boundary. But when I have people getting that email, watching that video, they actually understand, because I explain it in a way
that
they have some
higher level of respect for you,
instead of them just showing up and have no idea what your rules Are if you're feeling overstepped and annoyed by people question, Have I communicated my rules to them? And the first step is boundaries and understanding your own boundaries. I have a boundary that I won't let my clients bring anyone to the salon period, because I don't have energy for it. The only one who is allowed to come to my salon when I'm working is my husband, because he actually is so he knows me so well, and he's energy sensitive as well, so he knows when it's actually okay to speak or not, and he's working in the company as well, so sometimes he needs to be in the same space to be able to ask fast questions and so on. But I won't let. People bring anyone. Because if, for the longest time, I let people do that, and that was one of the things that actually made me think of quitting this job, because I was so annoyed by all the friends that people wanted to bring, or their kids or etc, and I don't have energy for that so and if you are an introvert, maybe, if someone brings people with them, that could be something that maybe won't work for you either. The fifth step is to question what kind of schedule works for you?
How many hours per day
can you work? When do you need to have breaks and then? How many hours from when you leave the salon do you need to recuperate until you're back again? You probably have indications that your body's warning signs when you've been working too much, when you've done something that is too much, listen to that and start to look at how can I put things into My schedule so it actually works for me
and understand how,
how, like, how many hours do you need to be at home,
and what can you do during that time?
Are you the person that just needs to sit in the sofa and watch Netflix, or are the person that needs to be in your garden, or whatever it is that you need to do in order for to recuperate that energy so that you can show up again for your clients, the more aware you are of what works for you, the better when you start to see warning signs, it's actually okay to start to implement more changes in order for you to again, show up better so it's not emotionally and mentally draining for you. Something that could work for you is step number six. It's practice mindfulness. If you're working back to back with clients, practice being in the present moment with the task that you're doing at this very moment, and just be more present with the steps that you're doing and focusing on the experience that you're creating for your client and the hair transformation that you're creating for your client, and not stand there and think, I have to do this. I have to do that tomorrow. I have to do this. I have to do that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, if you're allowed that in, it's easy that you become overwhelmed, burnt out and freaked out. So practicing being in the present moment, practicing mindfulness could really help you to ease your if your anxiety, have anxiety, is your anxiety and be more calm. Number seven is, think about noise levels. What kind of music are
you playing in the salon?
Introverts tend
to be more sensitive to high level pitch noises. So for me to have a calm day in the salon, I usually have like meditation music in the salon, or like spa music, I try to find different playlists on Spotify that works for me in that way, and that makes me calm, and that makes the clients calm as well. I have worked in huge salons with loads of people. That does not work for me. I have worked the past like, 15 years in a salon suite, and that has been the most perfect thing for me. And if you have things that you're really concentrating on, like this is hard, you can actually let your client know, like, hey, this step in the process is really hard for me. Is it okay if we can be quiet for a while and actually not speak so I can finish this so I know that I'm doing this in the best, correct way? Do. Okay, and that could be something for you to be able to focus and if you let people know, they won't get offended.
It is if you are just
cutting them off, then they might wonder, Oh, what did I do wrong? So now I'm going to talk about the level of introvert that I am and have been. And I know that people that get to know me nowadays, they're like, oh, I don't believe that. But as I talked about earlier, I actually have learned
to play an extrovert.
And when I started work, working with hair, and starting charging for my work, etc, I was so so shy, and I was so afraid of people, and I was so uncomfortable that I barely wanted to shake people's hand and let them know what my name was. I don't know where that
comes from or
what that is about, but there is
something in me
nowadays as well, that when I'm uncomfortable, maybe I don't want to talk to people. When I'm overwhelmed, maybe I don't want to be that person that has to go up and say things, etc, etc. And I actually had to learn, and this is number eight, how to have conversations with strangers. So I actually think that working as a hair stylist for me has really helped the introverted Ann Marie to be more sociable, because I had to people were sitting there.
So I actually learned, okay, these questions
I can ask, and if they respond to that, I can ask these questions. If I respond to this, I can ask these questions, and so on and so on. It can help to have them written down. If you write something by hand, it's more likely that actually gets stuck in your mind, and it's more likely that you remember them. But for me, having these opening things, of asking these questions, really, really, really helped me to be more sociable, to be more comfortable with holding the space for my clients, and nowadays I'm so much better. Now I can take any client and it's not a problem for me. It doesn't matter if it's who it is, it's not an problem for me, but what can be a problem for me is awkward situations when you're at a party and someone introduces you and then that person leaves and the other person doesn't respond back in any way there's like no communication back. That is when I fake going to the bathroom, because I hate those situations when no one will give you anything back. Then I become this five year old that wants to hide, and that's just who I am. And I just want you to know that even if I can be like that, I am comfortable nowadays to sit on camera and so on, and I don't have an issue with that at all because I've been learning how to be an extrovert. Step number nine, or thing is leveraging your strengths, and I think that you might be a little bit like me, that you're really, really good at listening to people, and that is something that you can actually leverage and take advantage of, and you don't have to remember everything 24/7, about your clients. It's actually okay when they leaped. Just make a few notes. Say that they have something special coming up. Write a note about that in wherever you keep your notes about your clients. So the next time in the morning, you can actually go and check and then you can ask them about that, because you don't have to keep everything in your mind, and they will love you for it, for asking that important thing. My husband always joke. He's like, how can you remember everything about your clients, but you have no idea what we have the in the refrigerator, and I'm sorry, maybe that's just not part of the same brain. I don't know, but I remember weird shit about my clients, but other things just falls away. Another thing to consider that I put as number 10 is creating a comfortable environment, environment, and I'm surprised that when people have come to my salon, they're always so like, Wow, it's so beautiful, it's so serene. I feel safe, I feel calm. I never been to an amazing salon like this, because I have a lot of plants. I have had a lot of furniture from Bali. That's dark wood with white walls, comfortable different textures, so people feel comfortable when they come into my space. And I have had this idea that if I am comfortable in my space, other people will be comfortable. So the question is, how can you make sure that your salon is comfortable for you? Think about what kind of personal touches Can you put in in how can you organize the space so
it actually works for you? Don't
forget to have your photo and video corner so you can easily take those before and after photos with ease, just a tip, but what you need around you to be comfortable and 11 is to always communicate how you work and what it is that you need both with friends, family members, with your clients and the people that you're working with. If these people don't know that you need X, Y and Z in order for you to show up in the best way possible, then there's no way for them to maybe know when they're overstepping, or when they are actually doing something that is draining to you and people won't read your mind. You have to communicate that, and that is your job.
If you don't know,
journal around,
what are all the things that is not working for you? What are all the things that are draining for you? What are all those situations where you just feel sick to your stomach?
Journal it out,
most likely there is something that you have not communicated. What is your part of the situation? What have you not communicated? And use that
so that you
are not falling into that situation again.
And the last step is self care after work. So what do you need to do to unwind?
I was talking about the opening and closing salon.
If you're energy sensitive, maybe you have to clear your own energy and you have to cut cords with everyone that you've been around with in order for you to not come home being a bitch like I can be sometimes, because it's overwhelming in my head. And it's not that my husband has done anything wrong, it's just that when my brain goes over a load and I haven't done my steps to clear that all that crap out, then it can be poof. So what do you need to do to recharge? And again, if you live with people, you have to communicate so that it works for you
and with the family as well.
So there this was a lot of different things that, if you are an introvert, to start to think up and start to implement you. And my message to you is that you are normal. You're absolutely normal. It is okay to be an introvert and work as a hairstyle. It's it's totally fine, but you need to start to figure out what is your go to thing to feel good. What is your go to thing to fill yourself up with energy. What is your goal? Thing to
feel better.
Because it's up to you to learn. What is it that you need so that you can last in this profession? Because if you don't take care of yourself, you won't last. You will break, or you will have an emotionally mental breakdown, and you might need to start to take a lot of medicine if you don't understand, why am I reacting in this way? What is happening? Why am I overwhelmed? And start to set rules and boundaries and take care of yourself. I'm sending you lots and love. Remember to take care of yourself. It's also so so so so important, and I would love to hear what your biggest takeaway. Let me know I would in send me a DM on Instagram at serene flow, underscore, or send me an email at contact, serene hyphen flow.com if you know someone that is introverted that needs to hear this, please share this podcast. I would love for you to share a review on Apple podcasts so that this podcast can reach more people, I'm sending you lots of love, and I'm so looking forward to hear from you. And if you have any tips
on how you
fill yourself up with energy. Please let me know. I would love to hear maybe I can learn something new. Bye, bye.
